TEX CO EMPLOYEE DIRECTORY
// employees are sorted by last inital
// employees that have been fired or retired are not shown
// this list is incomplete (thanks, todd)
A
Adams, Nancy
TEX Employee #160
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
Andrews, Andrew
TEX Employee #109
Branch: Gamma
Section: Finances
// poor son of a gun... who names their kid Andrew andrews...
Arvin, Travis
TEX Employee #144
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
B
Barkley, Henry
TEX Employee #002
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
Barnes, Jeremy
TEX Employee #135
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
// i heard this guy is really strong and attractive.
// he brings ladies home, like, every day
// this guy rules.
Blood, John Newell
TEX Employee #101
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
// last name blood?
Bond, Bond James
TEX Employee #007
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
Brooks, Jasmine
TEX Employee #016
Branch: Beta
Section: Quality Assurance
// i swear i went to her funeral... but the other day i saw her at the water cooler.
// probably doesn't mean anything.
C
Capgras, Chris
TEX Employee #044
Branch: Delta
Section: Research & Development
Collins, William
TEX Employee #222
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
// i've seen this guy in the movies!
D
Davis, George
TEX Employee #071
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
E
Edwards, Thompson
TEX Employee #204
Branch: Delta
Section: Design
// i would accuse this guy of imitation, but that doesn't seem plausible.
Einstein, Terry
TEX Employee #032
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
// who?
F
Fisher, Lloyd
TEX Employee #056
Branch: Alpha
Section: Classified
// classified? am i allowed to put this guy in?
Fregoli, Maxwell
TEX Employee #202
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
G
George, Michael
TEX Employee #030
Branch: Beta
Section: Quality Assurance
Harris, Fred
TEX Employee #164
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
Harrison, Margaret Elliot
TEX Employee #283
Branch: Delta
Section: Design
// any relation to henry harrison?
Hunt, Mike
TEX Employee #168
Branch: Epsilon
Section: Cleaning
// ha ha. very funny. what's your real name?
I
Irwin, Rachel
TEX Employee #005
Branch: Delta
Section: Design
J
Joshua, Robin
TEX Employee #078
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
// i went to high school with this guy!
// everyone called him dino boy because of his weird green skin.
// great guy.
K
Kevin, Lucas
TEX Employee #196
Branch: Alpha
Section: Classified
// probably fine to put him in here...?
L
Lucas, Kevin
TEX Employee #195
Branch: Epsilon
Section: Cleaning
// this brother got the short end of the stick.
// wait
// no
// that's not how brothers work
M
Meow, Michael
TEX Employee #249
Branch: Unknown
Section: Unknown
// this guy has never worked here, no idea why he's on the manifest
// looked him up, his last name is actually michaelstein
// it'll be fixed in v2.
N
Newell, Gale
TEX Employee #12E
Branch: Lambda
Section: Development
// i think this application is fake?
// #12E? is that supposed to be a 3?
// that's how it was in the manifest.
// we don't even have a lambda branch.
O
O'Brien, Eric
TEX Employee #059
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
// this guy rules too.
Osprey, Davis Newell
TEX Employee #102
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
// the newell name is more common than i thought.
P
Patterson, Gary
TEX Employee #106
Branch: Beta
Section: Quality Assurance
Powell, Joseph
TEX Employee #245
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
// i found out AFTER writing this whole thing that this guy got fired.
// something about misuse of a stun gun?
// it'll be fixed in v2.
Q
Quinn
TEX Employee #298
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
// wait, this guy died on his first day
// poor guy...
// still shouldn't be in here.
// it'll be fixed in v2.
R
Rachel, Velvet
TEX Employee #163
Branch: Delta
Section: Research & Development
// poor velvet rachel.
// the only employee to get reverse raises.
Revenue, Randy
TEX Employee #129
Branch: Gamma
Section: Finances
// good old randy revenue.
// you can always count on him to get you a raise.
// unless, of course, you're velvet rachel.
Roswell, Steven
TEX Employee #098
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
// this guy's totally getting promoted soon.
// mark my words.
S
Samson, Todd
TEX Employee #131
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
// DO NOT EMPLOY. this guy always carries a GIANT cup of water everywhere, and he ALWAYS SPILLS IT on EVERYTHING
// might as well just use a sippy cup
Silvia, Pepe
TEX Employee #012
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
// i keep receiving letters addressed to this guy.
// his office is always empty, too.
// probably doesn't mean anything.
Smith, John
TEX Employee #100
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
H
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// this one was ruined from the start.
// no clue what it used to be.
Surname, Name
TEX Employee #050
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
// i remember hearing old war stories about this guy.
T
Turner, Larry
TEX Employee #244
Branch: Delta
Section: Engineering
// i'm told this guy invented the special type of phone that we use at tex. fun!
Troy, Roy
TEX Employee #008
Branch: Delta
Section: Research & Development
U
Under, Over
TEX Employee #211
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
// there's no way that's a real name.
// i could say that for a lot of these, though.
// it's a strange world, i guess.
V
Vince, Gregory
TEX Employee #266
Branch: Delta
Section: Design
W
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// this one was also always corrupted.
// i should file a ticket to IT.
X
Xenon, Thomas Edward
TEX Employee #000
Branch: Alpha
Section: Management
// the boss.
Xenon, Susanna Edward
TEX Employee #136
Branch: Beta
Section: Marketing
// the boss' daughter.
// dang, only beta branch?
Y
Ymith, Yohn
TEX Employee #099
Branch: Gamma
Section: Finances
Z
Zerg, Mitchell
TEX Employee #070
Branch: Gamma
Section: Defense
// this guy is also fired.
// it was a whole thing, he went crazy and chopped up an entire work team.
// of robots.
// it'll be fixed in v2.
// this list was written by employee #135 jerry barnes